So many of us struggle with this
The all-or-nothing mentality.
“I’ll do it 100% or I won’t do it at all”.
Starting with 4 or 5 workouts a week rather than 1 or 2 (and then sacking it off when it’s impossible to maintain alongside actually having a life).
Cutting out an entire food group rather than taking a more balanced approach (but then starting a diet again every few months).
Last week I was chatting with a client, reflecting on how far they’d come with their approach to fitness and exercise. We agreed that it was easy to point out the physical changes, like the fact that she’s so much stronger and more powerful now (which is lovely), but the mental changes she’s been through over the last 14 months have been far more transformative.
Her fitness journey began with a rocky start - she’d jumped into doing five intense Crossfit-style sessions a week from day 1, and found some weeks she could manage it, but other weeks it was such a struggle. When she missed a session, she’d felt like all her previous sessions were a wasted effort, and stopped going for 2 weeks. Then she’d muster up the energy to go back, feeling like she was constantly starting over, and it became a repetitive cycle. Training really hard for a few weeks, feeling knackered, under-recovered, then not going back for the rest of the month. It sounded pretty exhausting 😩
So when we started working together, and I programmed 2-3 sessions a week for her - still with the Crossfit elements that she enjoyed, but bringing the intensity down to a more manageable level - she was confused at first. Why was I asking her to do so much less than what she’d been doing before? Doesn’t that mean she’s going backwards?
She trusted me with the plan, and it was a collaborative effort. We made the first couple of months seem almost easy, compared to before. Every session felt great, and she left the gym feeling like she could do more if she wanted to. Over time we added another session in, and she was able to do more without feeling like it was going to come crashing down on her at any minute. She’s now in a really nice routine of 4 sessions a week.
We had a catch up recently, and she was reflecting on the fact that if she’d stayed in that past cycle of always expecting so much of herself, seeing every missed session as a ‘failure’, she’d still be in the same position she was in over a year ago, spinning her wheels. Does she still miss a session now and then? Of course, she’s a real human being with other things going on in her life! But she’s set herself up with a routine she enjoys and can sustain, and a missed session now and then isn’t a big deal.
She can take that mentality with her forever now, regardless of what she’s training for or what her goals are. She’s got more freedom and flexibility with her fitness, without feeling obligated to train x days per week and tick every single box 100% of the time - she trains because she wants to, and doesn’t expect herself to get it perfect all the time.
Even if you’ve got a training plan and you’re only making it to half of your sessions some weeks, you’re still way ahead of everyone else with that perfectionist, all-or-nothing way of doing things. Going into a new fitness goal with all guns blazing rarely works out well in the long run, from my experience. I know it’s not exciting starting out with doing a bit less, or taking a less extreme approach, but it paves the way for doing more in the future (and finding enjoyment in it for the rest of your life).
If were nodding along to any of that, and you feel a bit like my client did too, know that you’re not a failure for struggling… but you might need a change of approach. If you’re keen to do things differently this time around, you can always reach out for a conversation to explore what that could look like for you 💜
Laura x